Best is Not Always Easiest

I taught Trevor how to have a water fight today. He was playing with his water table in silence lining little plastic cups up and watching the water stream over the side of the table making a pile of frothy bubbles on the grass. (He told me it was "snow bubbles" andasked to "make snowman" so im pretty sure when he asked me for soap and the hose he was trying to create snow to make his own snowman. Funny kid.) I could have let him play by himself happily and he wouldn't have complained. It's usually me that is pestering him to play with me, to let me in his little world. I convinced him to fill up his plastic cup with water from the water table and then I asked him to throw the water in his cup on me. He looked at me like I was crazy, and so I filled my cup up and splashed the water on his feet. His face went from suprise, to glee and to then to mischeivious. He thought it was super hilarious that I was encouraging him to throw water on me. We got soaked and laughed so hard that we couldn't catch our breath.

I thought, as I was playing, that the word "fight" in water fight was very appropriate. It's been a fight to get to this place that he would be so excited to play with me, that he would easily move from his little world to one that included me..There were so many days that he would cry if I even came in the room when he wanted to be alone. I used to mistakenly think that it was best and made him happiest if I just went along with what he seemed to want. But now that I have gotten better at figuring out how to convince him to interact, I'm realizing he never wanted to be alone. He wasn't retreating because he didn't want to play, but because he didnt know what else to do. His little world is comfortable, he knows how it works, and it's easier for him, but its not best for him to be there alone.

Every parent knows/learns that what is BEST for your child is not always the easiest. It's easy to give them what they want instead of what they need or what is in their best interest. Normally, this concept was something I thought of in terms of discipline, rules, but it's something Im still learning,to apply to most of Trevor's daily life. His autism is something we hope to one day overcome and part of that is pulling him out of his comfort zone and try and get him to interact, though sometimes it makes him sad, frustrated, and a little uncomfortable. Sometimes it takes awhile, sometimes it's easy, and sometimes he just really has to have his space and I just have to try again in bit. But its BEST.